Let’s take a few minutes and break this down.
Every one of us has seen a salesman and, we know that the salesman wants you to buy something. However, not all salesmen are looking out for what’s good for you. Also, you’re not always interested in buying the product they want you to buy. Well, being a salesman is similar to being an “influence” in another person’s life.
Parents treat their children, and children treat their parents in a similar way. They try to influence them to get the outcome or the product out of them that they want. Influencing one another, or being a bit of a “salesman” is acceptable behavior that one can manage because often see we through it very quickly. However, there’s a difference between having someone try to influence you, and someone trying to force you, to do what they want you to do. They’re trying to force you in order to bring THEM the benefit they want.
If you find someone who is doing things to you and saying things to you that are mean, and rude, and hateful, BE ALERT! Those are not the kind of people you want to have in your life. At least not for long! The way to deal with them is to stand up to them!
When you say to them, “I will not be treated like this”, or “I will not be talked to like that”, then this is how you are standing up to them. Turn and face them, set your feet at the width of your shoulders, pull up your chest to be taller, and look them straight in the eye. Stay focused, look serious, and do not stop looking at them as you clearly repeat, “I will not be treated like this”. Look straight at them and do not break eye contact first. Practice this in your mirror.
Hopefully, you find that process successful, and that they give you the respect of changing their approach. Perhaps the next time they will ask you for what they want, in an Assertive manner, not an Aggressive manner. Then you have been successful at communicating with your sibling, associate, friend, or family member. However, if they continue to be rude or aggressive to you, then you might take a look at your behavior.
Are you being Passive? Withdrawing and not showing an active response or resistance? If you’re allowing yourself to be treated like that, it could be your behavior that may possibly need to be changed. If so, then it’s time to do some studying on Assertive Behavior.
That’s where you are kind and thoughtful, however, you speak your mind honestly and are able to say “No thank you, I’m not interested”. You are able to stand firm in that position. Hopefully, that’s good enough for them, and they see that they’re not making any headway by approaching you in that manner.
Sometimes a bully has to go all the way to prove that they can overpower you. This is when you can continue to state your position and tell them that you will not allow them to treat you in that manner and that you won’t be talked to like that. It’s also helpful to get someone who will stand your ground with you, to be nearby helping you as your backup.
So good luck not Being Bullied. I hope this has been helpful because it will happen to you if it hasn’t happened yet. Remember the magic words! I won’t be talked to like that, I won’t be treated like that. They may laugh at you a little at first, but after a few times, they’ll know the game is over! Then, you’ll no longer have a Bully in your life!
